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Article by the Expert: 5 Ways to Make Hard Decisions
a Little Easier - by Yanik Silver
Article by the Expert: 5 Ways to Make Hard Decisions
a Little Easier - by Yanik Silver
=========================================
Yesterday, my wife Missy woke up with her stomach in knots.
Clara, the woman who'd been cleaning our house for the past
two years, was becoming more and more unreliable. Sometimes
she called to say she'd be late - but sometimes she just
didn't show up at all. Not only that, but she was doing a
terrible job.
"I should probably fire her," Missy said. "Then again... she's
been working for us for a long time. And she used to be so
good. Maybe if I talk to her..."
Missy knew she had to do something about this problem, but had
been procrastinating for weeks. And watching her agonize over
it got me thinking about "tough" decisions - the kind we all
struggle with.
It seems to be easier to keep putting them off... but that
just prolongs the discomfort.
Whenever I've had a decision weighing on my mind, it's kept
nagging at me. But when I finally made the hard call, it was
never as bad as I had worked it up to be. In fact, I've found
that the longer you chew on it, the worse it gets.
Thinking back, there are two vivid examples that spring to
mind...
Breaking Away From My Dad's Business...
One of the biggest decisions I ever had to make was whether or
not to leave my father's business. I started working with him
when I was 14. And I fully intended to stay with him and help
grow the company - a medical equipment sales and service
business. But I got the "itch" to go on my own in 1998.
That's when I started experimenting with information
marketing.
At first, I spun off of my dad's business by selling
information to plastic surgeons on how to get more patients.
And my dad was pretty flexible. He let me use his office as my
home base while I was still working for him. Then he let me
take Fridays off so I had more time to work on my own
projects.
The idea that I was somehow "betraying" him and the family
business was eating me up. I knew my heart was no longer into
it, and I had to break away. My dad expected me to work with
him side-by-side until he retired. But I couldn't continue to
live my life based on someone else's expectations. I had to do
what was right for me. So, nine years ago, I made the decision
to leave the company.
Looking back, it was by far the best decision I ever made for
my financial future.
Attending My First Seminar...
To get my business off the ground, I had been learning a lot
about direct marketing. And when I got an invitation to a
copywriting seminar in Phoenix, I was tempted. This was back
in October 1998. But because the seminar was so expensive, I
almost passed up this opportunity that I later realized was
the turning point in my business (and bank account).
My fledging information marketing business had been pulling in
maybe $2,000 or $3,000 per month. No great shakes. So I was
understandably hesitant to spend several thousand dollars and
miss several days of work (both of which I couldn't afford) in
order to attend the seminar.
My dad thought I would be a fool to go. He chided me (in his
thick Russian accent) "Mr. Yanik, why do you want to throw
away your money. If you have so much of it, I can help you get
rid of it. Don't you already have enough of these books and
tapes?"
But I bit the bullet and went. Another tough - but smart -
decision.
Frankly, if I had listened to my dad, I know I wouldn't be
anywhere near where I am today. I can directly trace the
moment when everything "clicked" for me and I "got it" to that
seminar. That's when I discovered the power of how to use
words and turn them into cash windfalls.
I've found that people regret things they don't do much more
than things they do. That's not how I want to live my life -
brooding over "shouldas" "couldas" or "wouldas."
In fact, I believe that most of our "tough" decisions aren't
really so tough. But the longer it takes for us to get off the
fence and take action, the more we magnify them in our own
heads.
With that in mind, here are five simple things to try when you
are having trouble making a decision:
Decision-Making Method #1: Think about the worst-case
scenario.
What is the worst possible thing that can happen if you make
the wrong decision? It almost certainly won't happen - but
even if it does, you can probably live with it. When I was
torturing myself over going off on my own, for example, I had
wild thoughts of my father disowning me. Of course, he didn't
do that. He may have been disappointed, but he didn't flip
out.
Decision-Making Method #2: Listen to your gut.
This is huge! Don't try to rationalize your way out of making
the decision. You've got good instincts. Take advantage of
them.
Decision-Making Method #3: Give yourself a deadline.
If you give yourself an indefinite amount of time to decide on
a course of action, you'll never do it. Not to mention, you'll
drive yourself crazy! Think of yourself as the high-powered
CEO of your own life - an executive who MUST make decisions
quickly.
Decision-Making Method #4: Visualize your ideal
Clara, the woman who'd been cleaning our house for the past
two years, was becoming more and more unreliable. Sometimes
she called to say she'd be late - but sometimes she just
didn't show up at all. Not only that, but she was doing a
terrible job.
"I should probably fire her," Missy said. "Then again... she's
been working for us for a long time. And she used to be so
good. Maybe if I talk to her..."
Missy knew she had to do something about this problem, but had
been procrastinating for weeks. And watching her agonize over
it got me thinking about "tough" decisions - the kind we all
struggle with.
It seems to be easier to keep putting them off... but that
just prolongs the discomfort.
Whenever I've had a decision weighing on my mind, it's kept
nagging at me. But when I finally made the hard call, it was
never as bad as I had worked it up to be. In fact, I've found
that the longer you chew on it, the worse it gets.
Thinking back, there are two vivid examples that spring to
mind...
Breaking Away From My Dad's Business...
One of the biggest decisions I ever had to make was whether or
not to leave my father's business. I started working with him
when I was 14. And I fully intended to stay with him and help
grow the company - a medical equipment sales and service
business. But I got the "itch" to go on my own in 1998.
That's when I started experimenting with information
marketing.
At first, I spun off of my dad's business by selling
information to plastic surgeons on how to get more patients.
And my dad was pretty flexible. He let me use his office as my
home base while I was still working for him. Then he let me
take Fridays off so I had more time to work on my own
projects.
The idea that I was somehow "betraying" him and the family
business was eating me up. I knew my heart was no longer into
it, and I had to break away. My dad expected me to work with
him side-by-side until he retired. But I couldn't continue to
live my life based on someone else's expectations. I had to do
what was right for me. So, nine years ago, I made the decision
to leave the company.
Looking back, it was by far the best decision I ever made for
my financial future.
Attending My First Seminar...
To get my business off the ground, I had been learning a lot
about direct marketing. And when I got an invitation to a
copywriting seminar in Phoenix, I was tempted. This was back
in October 1998. But because the seminar was so expensive, I
almost passed up this opportunity that I later realized was
the turning point in my business (and bank account).
My fledging information marketing business had been pulling in
maybe $2,000 or $3,000 per month. No great shakes. So I was
understandably hesitant to spend several thousand dollars and
miss several days of work (both of which I couldn't afford) in
order to attend the seminar.
My dad thought I would be a fool to go. He chided me (in his
thick Russian accent) "Mr. Yanik, why do you want to throw
away your money. If you have so much of it, I can help you get
rid of it. Don't you already have enough of these books and
tapes?"
But I bit the bullet and went. Another tough - but smart -
decision.
Frankly, if I had listened to my dad, I know I wouldn't be
anywhere near where I am today. I can directly trace the
moment when everything "clicked" for me and I "got it" to that
seminar. That's when I discovered the power of how to use
words and turn them into cash windfalls.
I've found that people regret things they don't do much more
than things they do. That's not how I want to live my life -
brooding over "shouldas" "couldas" or "wouldas."
In fact, I believe that most of our "tough" decisions aren't
really so tough. But the longer it takes for us to get off the
fence and take action, the more we magnify them in our own
heads.
With that in mind, here are five simple things to try when you
are having trouble making a decision:
Decision-Making Method #1: Think about the worst-case
scenario.
What is the worst possible thing that can happen if you make
the wrong decision? It almost certainly won't happen - but
even if it does, you can probably live with it. When I was
torturing myself over going off on my own, for example, I had
wild thoughts of my father disowning me. Of course, he didn't
do that. He may have been disappointed, but he didn't flip
out.
Decision-Making Method #2: Listen to your gut.
This is huge! Don't try to rationalize your way out of making
the decision. You've got good instincts. Take advantage of
them.
Decision-Making Method #3: Give yourself a deadline.
If you give yourself an indefinite amount of time to decide on
a course of action, you'll never do it. Not to mention, you'll
drive yourself crazy! Think of yourself as the high-powered
CEO of your own life - an executive who MUST make decisions
quickly.
Decision-Making Method #4: Visualize your ideal
outcome.
This is an exercise I learned from my friend John Harricharan.
He calls it the "Power Pause." It takes three minutes - one
minute to think about what you want to happen... one minute to
think about how good you'll feel when it does happen... and
one minute to calm yourself down by thinking about what you
are already grateful for in your life.
Decision-Making Method #5: The Band-Aid solution.
You know how painful it can be to pull off a bandage
(especially for those of us who are kind of hairy)? Well, the
secret is to pull it off quickly. Nothing is worse than
paralysis by analysis. You'll never have all the information
you need to make the perfect decision. Do the best you can
with what you've got. Then move on.
And here's a bonus tip: When all else fails, flip a coin.
That's how I decided the time had come for me to propose to
Missy!
By the way, in case you're wondering what Missy decided to do
about Clara... she gave her a call and simply told her we
weren't going to be able to use her anymore. Much to Missy's
surprise, Clara was relieved. It seems that there's another
family much closer to her own neighborhood that she's been
wanting to work for, and she was happy to have us free up a
day for her.
There you go - all that angst and gut-wrenching turmoil could
have been avoided simply by making the decision to fire Clara
weeks ago.
This is an exercise I learned from my friend John Harricharan.
He calls it the "Power Pause." It takes three minutes - one
minute to think about what you want to happen... one minute to
think about how good you'll feel when it does happen... and
one minute to calm yourself down by thinking about what you
are already grateful for in your life.
Decision-Making Method #5: The Band-Aid solution.
You know how painful it can be to pull off a bandage
(especially for those of us who are kind of hairy)? Well, the
secret is to pull it off quickly. Nothing is worse than
paralysis by analysis. You'll never have all the information
you need to make the perfect decision. Do the best you can
with what you've got. Then move on.
And here's a bonus tip: When all else fails, flip a coin.
That's how I decided the time had come for me to propose to
Missy!
By the way, in case you're wondering what Missy decided to do
about Clara... she gave her a call and simply told her we
weren't going to be able to use her anymore. Much to Missy's
surprise, Clara was relieved. It seems that there's another
family much closer to her own neighborhood that she's been
wanting to work for, and she was happy to have us free up a
day for her.
There you go - all that angst and gut-wrenching turmoil could
have been avoided simply by making the decision to fire Clara
weeks ago.
About the Expert:
Yanik Silver is an established internet marketing expert,
having been in business online since 1998. He believes you can
make more, have more fun, and give more back!
having been in business online since 1998. He believes you can
make more, have more fun, and give more back!
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